don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…
when ur alarm goes off on a school day and you just
200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am
A teenage girl in Texas was awakened by the smell of her completely melted smartphone, which caught fire under her pillow and burned the surrounding bedding.
'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.
like yeah cool we follow each other but when are we gonna date